Girl Friends and Exams

Exams are like GIRL FRIENDS;

1. Too Many Questions.
   
2. Difficult to Understand. 
   
3. More Explanation is Needed. 
   
4. Result is always FAIL!
   

Fine

PRINCIPAL: Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time Rs. 100  fine, 2nd time 200 and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI: Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu

Girl Friend

Munna Bhai: Oye, mar gayay yaar. Meri biwi aur GF saath saath aa rehla hai.
Munna ka Dost: Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.

Tapak gaya

MUNNA BHAI: Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.
MAMU: Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?
MUNNA BHAI: Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.

Banking Procedure

Banking Procedure for Male and Female:
After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on it.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.

love

Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else?
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.

fun game

A Sardarji and an American are seated next to each other on a flight from Los Angeles to New York. The American asks if he would like to play a fun game.
The Sardarji, tired, just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks.
The American persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He says, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me five dollars, and vice versa."
Again, he declines and tries to get some sleep.
The American, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5,and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500."
This catches the Sardarji's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment, agrees to the game.
The American asks the first question: "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"
The Sardarji doesn't say a word, reaches into his wallet,pulls out a $5.00 bill, and hands it to the American.
"Okay," says the American, "your turn".
He asks, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?"
The American, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer & searches all his preferences........no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the Internet and the Library of Congress... no answer.
Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers but to no avail.
After an hour, he wakes the Sardarji and hands him $500.
The Sardarji thanks him and turns back to get some more sleep.
The American, who is more than a little miffed, stirs the Sardarji and asks, "Well, what's the answer?"
Without a word, the Sardarji reaches into his purse,hands the american $5,and goes back to sleep.

Delivered

Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Two seconds later a report came to his phone and he started dancing. The report said, "DELIVERED".

Equation

7 Glance = 1 Smile
7 Smile = 1 Meeting
7 Meeting = 1 Kiss
7 Kisses = 1 Proposal
7 Proposal = 1 Marriage -
And that 1 Bloody marriage has 777777777777 problems. 
So beware of glance!

skeleton

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu’s skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu’s skeleton when he was child

electric motor

In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ….
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup…

submarine

How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it….

Oxygen

Sardar ji visits his Chinese friend dying in hospital.

Man says CHIN YU YAN and dies.

Sardar ji goes to China to know the meaning of his friend's
last words.

There he finds out that it meant "You are STANDNG ON OXYGEN TUBE!”

kidnap

There was a Sardarji who was down on his luck.In order to raise some money he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.

He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, “I `ve kidnapped you.”

Sardarji then wrote a note saying:

“I `ve kidnapped your kid.

Tomorrow morning, put Rs.2,00,000 in a paper bag and put it beneath the mango tree on the north side of the city playground”.

Signed: “A Sardarji”.

Sardarji then pinned the note to the kid `s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the Sardarji checked, and sure enough a paper bag was kept beneath the mango tree.The boy was sitting next to the bag. Sardarji opened up the bag and found the Rs.2,00,000 in cash with a note saying:

“How can a sardarji do this to a fellow Sardarji?

Take the money, and Please leave my son.”

Platform

sardar ji  standing on platform suddenly jumps on railway track.
Man says sardarji mar jaoge.
Sardar : Marega to tu. Suna nahi train platform par aa rahi hai..

higher studies

sardar sitting on the top of mountain and studying..when a person asked what he was doing..he replied ..

oyay....higher studies yaar!!!

 

which part

Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.

shagofay

is blog mein shagofay aur tanzo mazah ka ehtemam kia gaya hay, jo keh idher udher ki suni sunai baton per mushtamal hoga, naqqali ki khulay aam dawat di jati hay, phir na kehna pehlay kyun nahe bataya tha!!!